


And the award goes to...

by killerweasel



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, crack!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-18
Updated: 2012-11-18
Packaged: 2017-11-19 00:33:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/567041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerweasel/pseuds/killerweasel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock gets nominated for an award, John is skeptical.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And the award goes to...

Title: And the award goes to...  
Fandom: _Sherlock_  
Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes, Jim Moriarty  
Word Count: 900  
Rating: PG-13  
A/N: AU after _The Great Game_  
Warnings: none,  
Summary: Sherlock gets nominated for an award, John is skeptical.

 

“I’ve been nominated for an award, John.”

Sherlock slapped what looked like a normal invitation on the table next to John’s plate. John set his toast down, wiped his fingers off on a napkin, and then picked it up for a better look. “I didn’t know they had a contest for ‘World’s Greatest Detective’.” It actually sounded like a load of bollocks, but since Sherlock seemed almost giddy (John hadn’t seen him this excited since the triple homicide weeks earlier which involved a chainsaw), he decided to keep his thoughts to himself.

“The ceremony is tomorrow night.” Sherlock twirled around in his dressing gown. “You’ll come, won’t you? I know I’m going to win. There’s no way anyone else even comes close to my skills.”

John rubbed his forehead. “Do I have to wear a suit?”

“Of course you do.” Sherlock snatched the invitation up. “If you don’t have one, I’m sure my tailor can whip something up.”

“No, I’m good.” John picked his toast back up and took a bite. “It should be... interesting.”

\---

John had never felt this uneasy in his entire life. There was something very wrong, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. Sherlock was so focused about his award that he was ignoring anything John mentioned. They were sitting at a table in the front of a ballroom in a posh hotel. The room was filled with people, some of which looked rather familiar and others that made John wish he’d brought his gun with him.

Sherlock’s award was the final one listed on the program. They watched a number of what seemed to be incredibly random awards being handed out. Some of them had ludicrous titles like ‘best refrigerator repairman’ and ‘fantastic used car salesman’ and even ‘world’s greatest dog walker’.

John frowned as he read the other names in Sherlock’s category. “Sherlock.” Sherlock ignored him. “Sherlock, I think you should look at this. Have you looked at the people in your category?” He pushed the program at his flatmate.

Sherlock’s eyes skimmed the program for moment before he focused his gaze on the stage again. “I’m up against five other people. What’s your point, John? We both know I’m going to win.”

“The Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, Scooby-Doo, Ben Matlock, and Jessica Fletcher are all characters from books or television shows. Scooby-Doo is a bloody _dog_. How do you not know any of this?” John rubbed his temple. “Sherlock, this is some kind of a joke and I really think we should get out of here before...”

“John, my award is next.” Sherlock sat up straighter as a woman in a dress came out onto the stage. “We can leave after I win.”

The woman smiled widely, showing off a set of perfect teeth. John was sure he’d seen her in a very bad science fiction film the other night on the telly. Why on earth would she be at something like this? “We have reached our final award of the evening. The nominees for World’s Greatest Detective are: Nancy Drew for ‘The Secret in the Old Clock’, Ben Matlock for ‘The Hucksters’, Scooby-Doo for ‘Jeepers, It’s the Creeper’, Jessica Fletcher for ‘Hooray for Homicide’, The Hardy Boys for ‘The Tower Treasure’, and Sherlock Holmes for ‘The Aluminum Crutch’. And the winner is... Sherlock Holmes!”

Sherlock jumped to his feet as the audience burst into applause. John watched him bound up the stairs two at a time. He’d never seen Sherlock look this excited about anything before. The consulting detective was almost to the podium when a voice came over the speaker. “And presenting the award for World’s Greatest Detective is the star of the popular children’s television series The Storyteller, Mr. Richard Brook!”

A chill went down John’s spine as Jim Moriarty came out onto the stage. He watched Moriarty walk over to Sherlock, holding out what appeared to be a golden skull with a silver knife shoved through the top of it. John saw a series of expressions cross Sherlock’s face, the final being amusement. Moriarty handed Sherlock the golden skull and then leaned in to plant a kiss on the detective’s cheek. He whispered something John couldn’t hear. Whatever it was, it made Sherlock laugh. Then he walked off stage, leaving Sherlock alone.

Sherlock stared at the skull for a moment. Then he looked out at the audience. “I’d like to thank everyone who made this award possible. You made the right choice and picked the best person for this award. Thank you.”

The audience clapped as Sherlock got off the stage. Some music played and then the ceremony was finished. People began to leave. John gave Sherlock a look. “That was Moriarty.” Sherlock nodded. “Moriarty threw this whole thing together, got all these random people to be here, just so he could give you a fake award?”

Sherlock stroked the top of the golden skull. “John, he went through all that trouble to show how he feels about me and my skills as a detective. Plus, I got this neat skull. Look at the craftsmanship on the teeth and around the eye sockets.”

John had to admit, it was a rather nice skull and looked like it cost quite a bit of money. Besides, it made Sherlock happy. “Where are you going to put that anyway?”

“It’ll look great on the mantel next to the other skull.”


End file.
